UNCANNY X-MEN

"Any Old Storm in a 'Port..."
Rated PG-13 for language and adult situations

by R. John Burke

X-Men Eternity Message Board: http://solofan.proboards76.com/index.cgi

DISCLAIMER: The X-Men are a copyright of Marvel Comics. I don't own them, but this is only non-profit fan fiction. No money is involved and no infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Semi-sequel to "All the Summers' Pryde," but the plots are completely different, so you don't have to know the first story to read this one. Takes place shortly after issue #461 of "Uncanny X-Men" (You know, the X-Babies issue), but before the House of M.

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Ororo Munroe climbed the ramp into the strange pod with some trepidation. As closely linked as she was to the Earth and nature, something so alien and artificial was bound to set her on edge. Not to mention, something so small.

Apparently the pod was a one-man craft which Cyclops and Kitty Pryde had confiscated from a hostile alien while on a minor mission a couple of weeks ago. The mutant called Storm hadn't been present for that, but she understood it had caused some... excitement. Now they'd towed the thing back for study and were keeping it in what remained of the Danger Room, while Hank and Kitty and occasionally Reed Richards or some other expert tinkered with its inner workings.

Speaking of Kitty, it was her voice that called to Storm now, from inside the craft: "C'mon, guys! Ororo! Kurt! Ray! Hurry up! You won't *believe* this..."

Storm glanced behind herself at her teammates, Kurt Wagner and Rachel Grey-- Nightcrawler and Marvel Girl. Like Storm, they seemed amused by Kitty's enthusiasm. It was nice to know that some people didn't always grow up as they aged.

Storm looked again at the tiny portal and took a deep breath. She felt Kurt's oversized fingers, touching her shoulder.

"It's not so cramped as it looks," he whispered, pointing with his free hand. "See, leibling? It has a sunroof."

He referred to one entire wall of the craft, which had been blasted by one of Cyclops' optic beams. Storm smiled and patted her friend's hand.

"I'm fine," she said, and climbed the ramp.

Kitty was on the floor inside, buried to her waist under the pilot's console, exploring the guts of the alien craft.

"No wonder you weren't up for lunch, Pryde," said Rachel with a smirk. "You've got a new favorite."

"Are you kidding? She's the best-- present company excepted, I mean." Kitty slid out of the console and poked up her head. "I mean, normally I'm just a programming person, but this ship is *so* cool, I just had to... well, take a look for yourself!"

The other three X-Men bent down and peeked into the dark space where Kitty had been working.

"There's parts in there," Rachel observed sagely.

"Ja," said Kurt. "Many parts."

"I'd even say a staggering array of parts."

Kitty propped her hands on her hips. "Are you guys finished?"

Storm cleared her throat. "Perhaps if you told us what was so important, kitten?"

"Oh. Yeah. Well... I was trying to figure out exactly how the camouflage system works... y'know, the thing that caused all the trouble for us?"

"Trouble?" Kurt said innocently. "I thought you made a lovely Scott Summers, katzschen."

"Yeah, you were nice to me and stuff." Rachel frowned. "I guess that should have been a giveaway."

"*Anyway*," Kitty said, "the thing is that what it did-- transfer our minds between bodies like that-- it shouldn't have been possible by our laws of physics."

"As opposed to all the other stuff we do," Rachel said, "which is perfectly plausible."

Kitty wrinkled her nose. "Well, there's implausible and then there's flat-out wrong, and believe me, me being Scott? That's just wrong. So the way we-- Hank and I-- the way we figure it works is that it reaches into a neighboring dimension with slightly different laws of physics-- kinda like you do when you teleport, Kurt."

"I've never turned into Scott during a 'port!" Kurt protested. "Not even for an instant!"

"Funny elf. Look, basically it's an Infinite Improbability Drive..." She paused for a reaction, got none, and sighed. "I guess most superheroes don't read Douglas Adams. I mean that it makes the illogical logical. Kinda-sorta. For a couple of days, anyway."

Kurt said, "This is all fasinating, katzschen, but what's the point? How is this of use to us?"

"Oh, that. I'll show you." Kitty held out a hand, allowing Kurt to help her to her feet, stretched the kinks from her back, then addressed the controls. "Everybody stand back..."

When the X-Men had cleared out a spot in the middle of the cockpit, Kitty's fingers flew across the controls: "See, Reed figured out how to tie directly into the mechanism, so now we can sorta control what it does. And if I press this button..."

She reached for it. Kurt took a step back. "Erm, perhaps I should wait outside, in case something goes wrong. I seriously doubt any of you ladies wants *my* body..."

"Actually, Rachel--" Kitty said.

"Shut UP, Pryde!"

Kitty winked at her. "You can relax, Kurt. It's perfectly safe. Watch."

She pressed the button. Something-- a blossom of energy-- exploded to life in the center of the cockpit. It pulsed and glowed, almost beckoning to them, its color ranging from yellow on the fringes, to orange and red inside, to impenetrable black at its core. Kitty beamed at it like a new mother. The others regarded it warily.

"Impressive," Storm said.

"Unglaublich," said Kurt.

"Cool," said Rachel. "Um... what is it?"

"It's a wormhole, I think," Kitty said. "To a whole 'nother dimension. Think about it, guys, if we can perfect this technology, the sky's the limit! We could explore the multiverse, travel through time, transport anybody anywhere... instantly!"

Kurt frowned. "Then everyone will be a teleporter. Suddenly I feel so... common."

"You'll always be special to *us*, fuzzy-elf," said Rachel, hugging him.

"How long will it take to apply this science, Kitty?" Storm asked.

Kitty shrugged. "Oh, once Reed an' Tony Stark an' the really smart guys get their hands on it, it shouldn't take long at all. Maybe thirty, forty years."

"Forty *years?*" Kurt asked.

"The world might not even be here in forty years," said Rachel. "Believe me, I know."

Kitty's face fell. "Boy, you guys sure know how to take the fun out of something. This is the future here, staring us in the face, an' you're all making jokes."

Storm gave her an indulgent smile, to lessen the sting. "It's most remarkable, kitten. You'll have to keep us informed. Now, how do you turn it off?"

As she spoke, Storm stepped closer to the portal. It was no merely artificial creation-- it was real, as much a part of the world and the environment around them as a rainstorm. It was tied into the fabric of the Universe itself, and the more she looked, the more she was drawn to it... she reached out, hesitantly...

"No, Ororo!" Kitty snapped. "Don't get any closer!"

"Fear not, kitten. I shall not touch it. I can sense the boundaries of its energy field."

"Yeah, but you never know when it might--"

Suddenly a bolt of-- something-- raced up Storm's arm, penetrating her to the core. The whole world flashed yellow, orange, and red, and she spasmed as though every lightning bolt she'd ever thrown was returning to her, in force...

Someone was screaming. Storm couldn't tell who. She was falling... further and further away from all that she knew...

...and then she was gone.

****

"--spike," Kitty Pryde finished her thought, even as Storm's body hit the floor.

"Ororo!" Kurt Wagner cried, and dropped to his knees beside her. For a moment, Storm's body had flared so bright-- almost as thought she'd become one with the powers she wielded, a force of nature. A miniature star. Now she was human again, but unconscious and didn't seem to be breathing. Kurt cradled her in his arms, then began CPR, not even wanting to think that it might not work...

*No, it cannot end like this. All these years, all these battles...* Of all the X-Men, Ororo was perhaps the strongest. She could not fall to some trivial mishap. Kurt would not allow it! He would die himself rather than watch someone he cared about... thought about as family... *loved*...

Storm gasped, and her fingernails dug into Kurt's palm.

*Thank you,* Kurt thought to God, and said a further prayer in his mind while Ororo recovered. But when he finished and looked at her again...

"Kurt...?" she breathed, her eyes wide. "By the goddess...! It cannot be!"

He laughed. "Relax, leibling. You gave us quite a scare. I think perhaps you should avoid science fairs for a..."

"I saw you die!"

"You did?" Kurt asked.

"No, you didn't!" said Rachel.

"Well, no more often than any other X-Man..." said Kitty.

"Storm, perhaps you--"

He didn't get to finish the sentence. His mouth was far too well occupied with Ororo, who held him tightly and kissed him-- no mere friendly kiss, either, but hungry, passionate, a kiss to make a man forget there was anything in the world besides the two of them. And Kurt did forget, after an initial shock. He almost couldn't help it. He'd always thought Ororo the most beautiful woman he knew, and to have her here, like this, it was...

Rachel cleared her throat. "Excuse me! Remember us? Your teammates? I'm from an apocalyptic future and my friend here walks through walls. Ring any bells?"

"I don't think they're gonna answer," said Kitty.

"Maybe they could if Ororo wasn't hogging both their tongues..."

In her own time and no one else's, Storm finished the kiss and drew back, still staring at Kurt with tears in her eyes

"Beloved," she murmured. "Never leave me again."

"I-- I-- I-- I--" Kurt stammered.

"Eloquent," said Rachel.

"Guys," Kitty said, "since when is Storm's costume green?"

"It's not." The Phoenix emblem appeared above Rachel's eye and she took a step forward, hands clenched into fists. "Playtime's over, sister. I suggest you get off him and give us Storm back before--"

Storm turned and stretched out her hand, a sudden burst of lightning lashing out to slam Rachel against the wall. "Do not test me, hellspawn! You will not keep us apart!"

"Ororo, stop!" Kurt cried, grabbing her arm. "Stop, you're killing her! What's the matter with you?"

He looked down at her-- sure enough, Ororo was now dressed in a flowing green dress more reminiscent of one of Polaris' costumes than anything their Storm had ever worn. She wore a necklace and a pendant Kurt had never seen before. And there was a scar just above her left eye...

"I will not let them hurt you again, Kurt," she said, and kissed him again before he could make an issue of it.

"Hellspawn?" Rachel murmured.

"She probably didn't mean it in, y'know, in a negative way." Kitty finished helping the redhead to her feet, then coughed. "Um, Kurt, buddy... I'm thinking that's not our Ororo."

"Ja, that much seems clear," said Kurt, when he could talk again. He glanced again at the goddess now snuggled to his chest, her arms still wrapped around him. "Can we keep her?"

****

Scott Summers rubbed at his temples, moaned softly, then looked up at the X-Men assembled around the table with him: "Alternate worlds, you say?"

Kitty nodded. "Yeah. Um, sorry about that. Even Reed Richards thought the wormhole had stabilized."

Scott sighed. "Haven't we had enough fun lately?"

"Actually, I find it fascinating," said Hank McCoy, the Beast. "Think of it. The machine must access reality itself at a Multiversal quantum level. The sort of small-scale reality manipulation we've seen may be only the tip of the iceberg. If it should fall into the wrong hands..."

"An' what if 'Ro's in the wrong hands?" asked Wolverine. "If that ain't our Storm, where is she?"

"In... in the other Storm's Universe, I guess," said Kitty. "It probably did the same thing with them that it did to me and Scott. Just switched 'em."

"Yeah, but this ain't just good fer a few laughs anymore, darlin'. Who says that other Universe is a nice place t'be?"

"It's probably not," said Lucas Bishop, their resident expert-- besides Rachel-- on grim futures. "After all, you said Nightcrawler was dead over there. Storm might be the only survivor."

"Or she might've done it," Rachel said. "She sure didn't like *me*..."

Kitty cleared her throat. "Well, you kinda Phoenixed on her, Ray..."

"Yeah, an' I'll do it again, if you get her butt out here! I'm ready for her now!"

Scott held up both hands. "Enough. Logan's right, actually. Our main concern right now is for the safety of *our* Storm. We need all our resources working on that ship."

"Kitty and I will get right to work," Hank said.

"I'll hit up the Avengers," said Logan, "see if I can get Stark on this."

"I'll contact Reed again," said Scott. "Forge, too."

"What about Kurt?" Rachel pressed. "He's still with that... woman... and I don't trust her."

Scott frowned at her. "I've sent Emma in to examine her. She'll learn whatever she can..."

"I'd like to try, too."

Kitty coughed, muttering under her breath: "Bad idea..."

"C'mon, I can be objective..."

"I'm sure you can," Scott said, "but Emma's our most experienced telepath, and *any* version of Storm is bound to be a tough read. I don't want to take any chances."

"Fine," Rachel said, "but I'm keeping an eye on them."

"The more, the merrier," Scott said. "Be careful. Now... let's move, people. Storm's counting on us. And Kitty...?"

Their junior member blushed. "Yeah, I know. Next time we find a spaceship, you can call the FF an' I'll just mind my own business."

"Please. Some of us are getting too old for this..."

****

Kurt crouched on the back of the sofa in Storm's converted carriage house, while the woman who looked just like her paced concentric circles around the ornately decorated room.

"Has everyone gone mad, Kurt?" she asked. "How long do they intend to keep me here?"

Kurt spread his hands. "You must understand, Ororo, we have had bad experiences with alternate timelines before. Not to mention brainwashing, alien impostors, shapeshifters..."

"I would never hurt the X-Men!" Storm insisted.

"Ja, leibling, I know. Just as I know you could easily escape from here if you wished to do so. So you understand the necessity of this as well as we do."

She sighed. "Yes. But it is... maddening."

"Don't worry," Kurt smiled. "Soon enough we'll put things right. Hank or Reed or Forge will..."

Storm's eyes flashed. "Forge? Is he coming?"

Kurt nodded. "I expect Scott will call him."

"Ironic." She laughed. "In my timeline, Scott Summers would sooner die than ask help from Forge. They have always been bitter rivals over Jean Grey..."

"Forge is his rival? Not Wolverine?"

Storm looked scandalized. "Certainly not. Logan has eyes only for Rogue."

Nightcrawler couldn't hold back a chortle. "Rogue, eh? That sly dog. I'd have thought Logan would desire something more... tangible."

Storm shrugged. "The have been able to touch since she absorbed Bobby Drake's powers. Now he only complains about freezer burn."

"Ha! And how does Gambit feel about that?"

"Who?" She looked blank.

"Remy LeBeau. Red-eyed Cajun fellow."

"Ah." Storm made a face. "You refer to Monsieur Sinistre. A loathsome villain."

Kurt fell right off the back of the couch, onto the cushions. Laughing, he said: "Ah, leibling, I can see this is going to take time."

He explained to her, as succinctly as he could, how things stood in this timeline. Storm paced back to the sofa, staring down at him. The expression on her face broke Kurt's heart. She reached out to tentatively stroke his cheek, as though she feared he'd disappear beneath her touch.

"And... Kurt Wagner? Who is mistress of his heart?"

"Loneliness," Kurt said. He didn't think his dashing smile quite came off.

"You have no idea how difficult this is," Storm said, averting her eyes. "You resemble him in every way."

"I'm sorry."

"Do not be." He heard, rather than saw her smile. "It is a wonderful gift, Kurt. I had not... expected to have this chance."

"So you said..."

The door clicked open. Kurt half-turned. "Ah, Emma. Storm, allow me to introduce..."

But Storm half-ran across the room to embrace their new arrival. "Don't be silly, Kurt. The White Priestess needs no introduction. Emma, darling! How pleased I am to see you well in this strange world!"

Emma Frost frowned at Kurt past Storm's shoulder. "I've missed something, haven't I?"

"We were just discussing alternate Universes."

"Ah." Emma disentangled herself, somewhat awkwardly, from the hug. "She's not... Scott, is she?"

"Er, no, I don't believe so. Just a parallel doppleganger."

"Ah, well that's all right, then. As long as she's not my lover this time, I can deal with the rest..."

"In my world, our love transcends the merely physical," Storm said. "We are more than sisters. We..."

"What?" Emma asked, when she trailed off. "What are you staring at?"

Storm turned away; if Kurt did not know her better, he would have said she was... embarrassed. Almost blushing.

"Forgive me," she murmured. "It's just that... well, dearest, I am unaccustomed to seeing... quite so *much* of you." Her gaze flicked to the torso area of Emma's costume. "As well as so much that is... you will forgive me... plainly *not* you..."

"Ahem!" Emma snatched a blanket folded on a nearby table and covered up with it. Then she glared at Kurt. "Is this a joke?"

"It's..." Kurt snickered. "No, I don't think so. But you must admit... the White Priestess? I believe I would give my own tail to see..."

"What? I have my spiritual side! I read an entire book once by... well, some holy person or other!"

"I'm certain of it, leibling." He gestured at Storm. "Erm... perhaps you should..."

"Yes, yes, let's get on with it!"

"Of course. I know you wish to mind-scan me. I shall not resist."

Emma marched Storm over to the couch and sat her down. Then she commanded her, in a not-very-relaxing-tone, to relax immediately. Storm arched an eyebrow, but her willpower transcended Emma's fit of pique, and the mind-reading began.

"Well?" Kurt prompted, several minutes later.

"Well," Emma said, "her world's really rather a nice place."

"Color me shocked. Isn't there a rule against that? Don't alternate dimensions have to be hellish?"

Emma frowned. "Well, you *are* dead, Kurt. So from your perspective..."

"Small stuff." He waved her off.

"Do you believe me now, my friends?" Storm asked.

Emma shushed her. "Hush, dear, and let the professionals do their work. Her name is, in fact... Ororo Wagner."

"Unglaublich!" Kurt exclaimed.

"I agree," Emma said. Then, to Storm: "Whyever did you change your name, darling? It's so primitive... I never would have thought *you*..."

"Emma!" he said. "I meant the marriage itself!"

Emma shrugged. "It's all here in her thoughts... and oh, Kurt, you have a daughter! I wish you could see her... she has the most adorable little pointed ears!"

Kurt smirked; whatever her flaws, and she had many, Emma Frost did appear to genuinely like children. Which was... mildly disconcerting, as far as Kurt was concerned, for any daughter of his who might take after her.

"Please tell me you don't babysit," he said.

The White Queen laughed. "Don't be ridiculous, darling, she adores her Auntie Emma! Who..." The laugh changed abruptly to a frown. "Who, judging by her costume, is some form of super-powered nun..."

That time, Kurt fell altogether off the couch laughing.

Storm glared at the other woman. "I quite enjoy my Emma's sense of fashion."

"You once had a mohawk, dear. I'm honor-bound to disregard your opinion in these matters."

Kurt only laughed harder. At length, Emma stepped away.

"Everything she says is true," the blonde woman announced. "I don't believe even Storm could so seamlessly hide *everything*. She really is your wife."

"Well," Kurt said, rising slowly, "there's no accounting for taste."

"It was... she chose well. What I saw was... most affecting." Unusually subdued, Emma patted Kurt on the shoulder and headed for the door to report to Scott. She stopped there. "By the way, Kurt... *no one* hears about the White Priestess. *Especially* not Miss Pryde."

Kurt had to turn away to hide a giggle. "Oh, certainly, certainly, leibling. Your secret's safe with me."

Emma nodded, opened the door--

"But it's going to cost you."

She slammed it. Kurt expected that. He laughed harder. Then he trailed off, as Storm's arm wrapped around him and her head rested on his shoulder.

"Ororo..."

"Is there nothing between us here?" she asked. "Has there never been?"

He frowned. "Storm is... one of my dearest friends."

"And nothing more?"

"Nothing," he said, "except perhaps in dreams."

"And if dreams could become reality?"

Kurt opened his mouth, closed it again, and changed the subject: "How did I die?"

Storm shuddered. "Bravely. In battle with a Sentinel. You placed yourself in the way of a blast meant for me."

He offered a wan smile. "Well... damsel-rescue *is* a specialty."

Her arm tightened around him. "It isn't amusing, Kurt. I have replayed that moment in my mind... a thousand times. Blaming myself for losing you. If not for Abeni, I could not have endured."

"Abeni?" Kurt frowned.

"Our dear one. It means 'girl prayed for.' I remember... the day she was born..."

A tear rolled down her cheek. Kurt's finger caught it. "Ororo, don't do this."

"How can I not? To see you here, like this, and know you feel nothing..."

"I didn't say that." He cleared his throat. Her eyes were beautiful; he couldn't believe she was looking at him like that... "But it is not to be."

"Because your Ororo didn't see what I saw?" she asked, her lips tantalizingly close.

"Because... because she belongs here, and you belong elsewhere."

"Perhaps I belong with you."

"I would like to believe that..."

"Then do."

Kurt didn't know if she kissed him, or he kissed her. He did know he wouldn't have stopped for anything in the world, and he never wanted to stop again...

****

"Son of a--" Kitty Pryde threw her wrench across the cockpit in a fit of rage stemming from intense frustration...

It landed in Logan's strong hand, with a tremendous CLANG! of wrench-hitting-adamantium bones. The short man grinned.

"Careful there, pun'kin. I think you're startin' to pick up my coping skills."

"I'm not chain-smoking yet," Kitty grumbled. "Or swilling beer. Or..."

"Hey, you *are* steamed. Changed yer mind about yer new pal so quick?"

She tossed up her hands. "I am not a mechanic, Logan. I just play with computers. Which, by the way, THIS computer HATES me. What does it want from me, huh? I've given it everything I could give an' all it's done for me is lose one of my friends, break another's heart, and turn ME into a one-eyed MAN who kissed EMMA FREAKING WHO-KNOWS-WHAT-DISEASES-SHE'S -CARRYING FROST! Do I look amused to you, Logan? Because *I am not amused by this anymore!*"

Logan sat on the edge of the console and laughed. "Darlin'... really... chill. Tony Stark promised to send somebody over tonight. You can hold off callin' down curses on it for the next four hours, can't ya?"

"Ororo could be dead in four hours!"

"In th'... really *nice* dimension Emma described?"

"I don't TRUST nice!" Kitty said. "Nice is probably trying to KILL you! Have you learned *nothing* as an X-Man?"

Logan folded his arms behind his head and leaned back. "I learned how t' read you. You ain't scared for 'Ro. You're scared Kurt'll fall for her double."

Kitty made a face. Sometimes the combination of Logan's enhanced senses and their long association could be a pain in the butt. Or maybe she was just that obvious. She sighed.

"C'mon, you know he can't resist Ororo. *Nobody* can resist Ororo. Even *Doctor Doom* can't resist Ororo."

Logan laughed. "High-quality babe, that's true."

"On behalf of the female gender, thanks ever so."

He shrugged. "Look... darlin'... I know ya don't want Red to be hurt. I get that. But..."

"I don't want Kurt to be hurt either." Kitty glared at him. "She's got to go back, Logan. An' I think the mass has to stay pretty constant, so that means he can't go with her. D'you have any *idea* how hard he's gonna take that?"

"Yup," said Logan. "People gotta make their own mistakes, 'Cat."

"It sucks."

"Yup."

Kitty sighed, leaned against the wall, and bit her lip. "The smoking's not gonna happen. Swilling beer might work. Wanna corrupt me?"

"If you're buyin'," said Logan, and he offered her his arm--

And then the computer blew up.

They both hit the deck on their bellies, while the ship's automatic fire-control systems quickly reduced the blaze to smoldering, smoking mess. Kitty and Logan climbed to hands and knees, groaning...

"Awww..." Kitty said.

"Now, darlin'..."

"A CURSE on it, Logan! Like you said-- a curse! An' on its progeny, too!"

"It's got progeny?"

Kitty climbed to her feet and inspected the damage with a heavy sigh. "Yeah. I gotta deal with this. Better tell Hank his break's over."

Logan nodded. "Sure thing. I'll bring ya back a cream soda."

"A *beer*, Logan. I'm not a kid anymore!"

"You ain't exactly a--" Logan stopped short at the hatch. Then he let loose a little growl. Then--

SNIKT!!! He launched himself at something outside, unseen by Kitty. She ran to the hatch...

Logan was standing at the base of the ramp, his claws immersed deep in the chest of his latest victim: Remy LeBeau. Most of the time, those two were pretty well-matched, Remy might have even been a little ahead, but Logan had attacked with such ferocity...

"Logan, are you nuts? You just popped your claws on GAMBIT, you psycho!"

"Ain't the Cajun," Logan growled.

That was when the apparently-deceased Remy opened his eyes, grinned, and blasted Logan back through the hatch.

****

Rachel Grey was not jealous. She was *not*. She was emphatically, definitely, and categorically *not*. She was...

She was believing those words about as much on the one thousandth recitation as she had on the first.

Dammit, why couldn't Kurt have found an alternate *Rachel* out there somewhere he was married to? Why had the Universe decided there were none of those? Wasn't she at enough of a disadvantage, competing with a Storm who *wasn't* madly in love with Kurt? What was that woman's game, anyway? Hellspawn, indeed-- what was she hiding?

And why... why did Rachel hear somebody banging about in the X-Jet hangar? There wasn't supposed to be anybody else down here and this time of day...

She found the intruder just as he was stepping down the ramp of the jet-- a tall man with a synthetic leg, clutching a Really Big Gun. Rachel stared for a moment...

"Forge? When did you get here?"

"I'm not sure," he said, and pointed the gun at her. "But I warned Cyke what would happen the next time you freaks pulled a stunt like this."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down!"

"Did you think I was *joking?*" Forge snarled. "After what happened to Jeannie, I want nothing to do with you! I'll prove it if I have to!"

Rachel looked blank. "I'm gonna get shot because of somebody's unresolved bitterness over Jean Grey? Wow, that's irony for you..."

His finger tightened on the trigger...

****

"Yo, Rogue!" called Bobby Drake, approaching his teammate on the grounds of the Xavier Mansion. "Listen, I have got *nothing* lined up for today and I think I'm starting to get in Lorna's hair, so I wondered if you'd like to catch a movie, or maybe..."

The woman with the white streak in her hair whirled on him, looking like she'd seen a ghost. "Bobby?"

"In the flesh. Well, in the ice. Which is convenient, 'cause I'm Iceman and all. It wouldn't work nearly so well if I was Rockman or Mudman or..."

"Bobby, get away from me!" She started walking backward, fast as she could. "You can't be here!"

He frowned. "I... can't? Can you tell me where I *can* be, then? Because like I said, I am *so* bored, and..."

"Shut up! I dunno what you're playin' at, sugah, but I ain't even a li'l bit amused!"

"Rogue, just chill out for a..."

A moment later, Bobby decided that had been a poor choice of words, when she blasted him with his own powers.

****

Scott Summers was still trying to get through to Reed Richards-- apparently the F.F. had been called off on a mission unexpectedly-- when he heard somebody rummaging around in the next room.

"Emma?" he called.

"Indeed, Cyclops. I hope I'm not intruding..."

*Cyclops? Intruding?* Frowning, he got up and went to the door... and sure enough, it was Emma in the next room... an Emma dressed in long, flowing, modest white robes, with her hair pulled back in a simple braid... and with, he couldn't help but notice, somewhat different physical dimensions.

"Em--Emma?"

She smiled at him, a look utterly without guile. "Yes? I'm sorry to interrupt you, sir, but I was just looking for my prayer book. You haven't seen...?"

Scott slammed the door and returned to his desk, shaking his head.

"I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't..."

****

Kurt Wagner was just starting to wonder how to extricate himself from an increasingly intense make-out session, while secretly hoping he would come to his senses too late, when the door slammed open. He had been nearly on top of Ororo-- he couldn't have disappeared and rematerialized on the other side of the couch any faster if he'd 'ported.

"Doin' some heavy research, I see," said Bishop's voice. He stood framed in the door and grinning, an odd light in his eyes.

"Ja, um, er, that is, I think..."

"Kurt..." said Storm's voice.

"Henry!" he said, seeing the Beast appear at Bishop's side. "I trust you have good news for us, yes, mein freunds?"

"The best," said Hank.

"Kurt, those men aren't..." said Storm.

Then Bishop raised his hands and blasted with his bio-energy, annihilating the sofa. Only a lifetime's worth of combat instincts allowed Kurt to grab Ororo and-- BAMF!-- reappear on the other side of the room.

"As I was saying..." Ororo smirked.

"Ja, ja. Long story short, leibling: Evil dopplegangers?"

"Henchmen of Monsieur Sinistre," she said.

"Here to kill us, no doubt? As we say in my dimension: That trick *never* works..."

ZAP! Not that Bishop wasn't trying his best to pull it off. Kurt dove one way and Ororo another as his next blast incinerated the perfectly nice waterfall display in the center of the room. Meanwhile, Hank pounced, covering the room in two leaps, claws and fangs set on Nightcrawler's throat...

Storm threw a lightning bolt at him, but Bishop intercepted it, absorbed it, and cast it back at her. She hit the wall, a little stunned, but then her lip twisted and her eyes turned white.

"Kurt," she said, "I suggest you hold onto something..."

Even as the Beast was about to strike, a tremendous gust of wind smashed through one window of the carriage out and out the other, taking the alternate Henry McCoy with it. Bishop, meanwhile, was fighting a freak hailstorm.

"Have I ever told you, my dear, you're beautiful when you're angry?" Grinning, Kurt took her hand and--

BAMF!

****

Logan slashed high with one claw, low with the other, but this souped-up Gambit blocked them both with his staff, then touched it to the ground beneath the Wolverine's feet and--

POW! That section of floor exploded, knocking Logan across the room.

"Waste yo' time, *homme*," said the doppleganger slowly. "I only play wit' you. Y' never was a match fo' me, Wolvie."

Logan growled as he found his feet: "Cajun, d'you wanna talk or fight?"

"Reckon we fight, but I like t'do it wit' a bit o' style..."

The Wolverine lunged at him, claws-first. Gambit dodged easily.

"Logan! Don't hurt him!" Kitty Pryde called, from the ramp of the spaceship. "This thing's gone crazy! It must be replacing everybody in range with their duplicate!"

"I figured that on my own, darlin'." Logan leaped from place to place as the ground beneath his feet exploded.

"Yeah, but remember, it has to balance! If he dies, we can't bring back our Gambit!"

"You're kinda tyin' my hands here. I..."

Suddenly the light level shifted; Kitty seemed to blink, and when she looked again, Logan's costume was subtly different. He had a beard, and only two claws on his right hand.

"I'm gonna kill you fer what ya tried t'do to Rogue, LeBeau!" With a feral snarl, he launched himself at Gambit, burying two claws in the other's neck and three in his side.

"Aw, Logan, no! Don't you freak out on me, too!"

Remy knocked the little man away, wounded but not dead... yet. Kitty had to act fast. She ran back into the cockpit, but...

...but when she got there, she was no longer the same Kitty Pryde. Instead, an angry-looking young goth called Cat frowned at the thought bouncing around her head as she lit a cigarette:

*Gotta fix the computer? Yeh, whatever. Computers are for dorks...*

"Kill 'im, Wolvie!" she urged her friend outside, then wandered off in search of a cold beer...

****

Ororo Wagner soared high above the grounds of the Xavier Institute, with her husband-- or the spitting image thereof-- holding on for dear life.

"This is very bad, Kurt," she said. "Observe the grounds: It appears that everything here is being replaced by its counterpart in my Universe."

"Unglaublich," Kurt breathed. "There's Colossus... he seems so... disagreeable. And Lorna... she looks so plain without the the green hair. And... oh, dear. Your Rogue and our Bobby have turned the basketball court into a bobsled course."

Ororo swooped low over the area, where the Iceman and Icewoman were still yelling at each other and blasting away, but there didn't seem to be anything to be done about it. Neither of the combatants could seriously injure the other, so it boiled down to a lot of snow and fury, signifying nothing except a snowball fight for a knot of delighted students. She grabbed for altitude again.

"Huh," said Kurt. "Is that one of the Stepford Cuckoos, carrying a guitar?"

Storm nodded. "Oh, yes. Their band is called Three-in-One. It's quite good."

"My head hurts," he complained.

"Kurt, we must stop this. The chaos being wreaked on both worlds must be..."

"I am open to suggestions, leibling."

Storm changed course, back toward the mansion. "I believe we'll have to destroy the ship. As this point, it's the only option."

Kurt blinked. "Won't that strand everyone where they are?"

"Perhaps, but at least the worlds will be in balance, and safe. And we will be..." her voice caught. "together. Assuming that is what you want?"

He stroked her cheek. "Ah, leibling, nothing would please me more. But what of Abeni? You would never see... our daughter again. And our friends would be trapped in worlds they do not know. It is not fair, Ororo. It isn't right. No matter how much... we... might want it."

Storm opened her mouth to argue, closed it, and sighed. "You are right, of course, Kurt. I had hoped... but it was a foolish dream. What else can we do?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "But if you'll take us to the Danger Room, I'm sure we'll come up with... something. Inspiration, leibling, is one of the best things I do."

"Yes, and I know the others by heart." Storm kissed him once more, quickly, then smiled sadly and dropped down toward the mansion...

****

The Phoenix emblem appeared over Rachel Grey's eye, and Forge's gun leaped out of his hand before he could fire a shot.

"What th'..."

She slammed him back against the jet with a burst of teke. "That's better. Forge, I'm really not in the mood today, so if you're going to make me kill you, say so now. Otherwise, let's talk."

"But... but..." he stammered. "That power-- the Phoenix. You're related to Jean."

She nodded. "That's right. Think maybe you're taking out your frustrations on the wrong person?"

"I... I just..." he sighed. "Point taken. You can let me down now, kid. I'm not going to bite. I just... don't like surprises."

"Fair enough." She lowered him to the ground. Forge flexed his bionic hand experimentally, as though making sure he was all in one piece. "Look, whoever you are, I'm betting you have Forge's skill with machines. I need your help."

He frowned at her. "Why should I help you people?"

"For Jean's daughter."

"There are limits to my sentimentality. You may be half-Jean, but you're also half-Summers. I can see it in your... eye, kid. Not good enough."

The emblem appeared again. "For the sake of keeping your molecules intact, then?"

Forge glared at her, but he nodded. "Better. What seems to be the problem?"

****

They got to the Danger Room just in time to see Remy standing over Logan, staff held high for a killing blow. Rachel reached out with her power...

The false Remy laughed. "Teke won' work on me, p'tit. Monsieur Sinistre got power you can' imagine."

"And a bad code name," said Forge. "Haven't you learned your lesson *yet* about pissing off that little Canuck?"

"He never does," said Cat laconically, washing down the remark with a gulp of beer. "I figure I'll help Wolvie if he ever really needs it."

"Got news f'you, p'tit." alt-Gambit drove his staff straight down, through the flesh of Logan's leg. The Wolverine howled and slashed with his claws, but Gambit caught the blow almost casually. "He need help *now*."

"ENOUGH!"

Remy whirled; Storm and Kurt had appeared in the doorway, looking like they meant business. BAMF-- Kurt reappeared beside Remy, grabbed his staff, and BAMF-- disarmed him, reappearing next to Storm.

The villain laughed. "Knew you'd be in on dis, Stormy. Mus' say, I love de new uniform. Sho' you won' reconsider my offer, now?"

Storm wrinkled her nose. "Join you? Never!"

"Hmph!" said Rachel. "Even in other universes, they all want to make Storm their queen..."

"Sorry t'hear dat, cher. An' after I took de liberty o' removin' the main obstacle between us." Alt-Remy directed a poisonous smile in Kurt's direction. "Who you t'ink set dem Sentinels on y'all, anyhow? Knew de elf would play hero. Some fellas just born t'be suckers..."

"And some should not have been born at all," said Storm, trembling with a rage Rachel had never seen from her opposite number in this dimension. Even Remy seemed to realize he'd made a bad mistake as she climbed higher and higher into the air. Kurt was shouting something to her, but Ororo didn't seem to be paying attention...

She held out her arms, and the Danger Room tore itself apart, as though battered by unseen winds. All that fury aimed itself toward the alternate Remy LeBeau, who stood as though transfixed by the raw fury of it.

*Storm!* Rachel sent telepathically, knowing a few things herself about crossing between Universes, *We need him to get our Gambit back! You can't kill him!*

She felt Storm's reluctant agreement; changing plan suddenly, the wind-rider didn't sent all the debris she's summoned hurling at Monsieur Sinistre. Just a single, jagged shard that clipped his leg behind the knee, severing an artery...

Then she pumped enough voltage into him to put him down for the count, in a rapidly-widening puddle of his own blood.

Storm fluttered back to earth, stone-faced. Kurt reached out for her, but she turned aside and wouldn't look at him.

"I suggest you restore order quickly," she said to Forge. "He will not live long."

"Ororo..." Kurt said.

"I have no more time for dreams, Kurt," she said in a level voice, but she didn't bother to guard her thoughts, and Rachel could feel how shaken she was. "It is time for me to return home."

"I... ja, I suppose so..."

Kurt hung his head. Nobody spoke for a moment. Then Cat looked up from where she was helping a wounded Logan. "So... you guys have trouble keeping this place intact too, huh?"

****

Alex Summers hit the door to the Danger Room at a run. The mutant called Havok had been having the strangest encounter with a blonde Lorna who seemed to believe he was behind on child-support payments, when he'd heard the ruckus from the Danger Room. He skidded to a halt at the door, and saw...

"Oh, hi," said Rachel Grey, nodding to him from the hatch of the spaceship they'd just taken in. "Don't mind the rogue's gallery."

"But... what the hell...?" he said to his sort-of niece. A bearded Wolverine, a goth Kitty, Remy nearly *dead*...

"The kid could explain," Forge said, stepping out of the ship, "but we'll be gone before she gets to the good parts, so why bother?"

"It's done?" Rachel asked.

He nodded, holding up a small device. "Rigged this up. You press this button, it'll tap back into our own Universe and right things."

"Thanks, Forge," she said, accepting the device.

"Thank *you*. It was good to fight on the side of the angels again, and to see Jean's memory carried on." Forge turned to Alex, and nodded. "You people don't take good care of this kid, Uncle Alex, you'll answer to me."

Alex shrugged. "O...kay."

"Everybody ready?" Rachel said. She received assorted nods from everyone except Storm, who sulked in the corner with her back to the group.

"Ororo..." Kurt said again, as Rachel reached for the button. At first, she didn't seem to have heard. Then...

"Kurt!" Storm ran across the room and threw her arms around him, sharing one more kiss while the Universe around them changed. "Beloved... remember..."

And then it was done. Or at least, *something* was done. There was a brilliant flash. When the spots had left his eyes, Alex looked around the room in quite a lot of confusion, and said to Rachel: "Uh... Forge was *sure* that thing worked, was he?"

"Well... maybe it was tuned wrong..."

At *least.* Now Storm, far from being Kurt's beloved, appeared to be a man. Now it was Kitty who couldn't keep her hands off Kurt. Remy was a bespectacled, rather nebbish fellow, horrified by the puddle of blood he was in. And Logan...

Alex started to laugh. Logan was still a man. Still chomping a cigar. But he was wearing a dress. A pink dress.

"A... a cross-dressing Wolverine?" Alex laughed harder. "Oh, that is... that is *so*..."

SNIKT. Three claws appeared, right under his chin.

"...but of course I respect any lifestyle choice that makes you happy," Alex said, not missing a beat.

"You better, bub."

"I do. I really, really do. Um, Ray?"

"I'm on it," she said. With a sigh, she grabbed Forge-- who, fortunately, seemed to be mostly the same, and said, "C'mon. Back to the drawing board."

****

Three alternate realities later, they got it right. The mansion, its grounds, and its inhabitants were restored to a proper state of 616 reality, although they retained a few snippets-- thoughts and feelings from the opposite numbers who had occupied their space for a while. Notably, Kitty had developed a liking for black eyeliner, Rogue was surprised to discover herself semi-lusting after Logan, and Emma... well, Emma Frost was horrified by the occasional snippets of the White Priestess that popped into her mind-- particularly at, she said, the most inopportune moments. Nobody wanted her to elaborate, but they did notice her necklines had climbed several inches, to the grave disappointment of her male students.

Forge promised them it would all fade in a couple of days, leaving everybody quite normal. Kurt Wagner couldn't wait.

He sat on a bench on the grounds of the mansion, nearly invisible in the dark, lost in thought... or perhaps in memory of a particular moment, that would never come again. He didn't notice the flutter of breeze kicking up, until Ororo-- Ororo Munroe again-- landed nearly right beside him.

He glanced up in surprise. "How did you find me?"

"I checked atop all the buildings and worked my way down," Ororo said. "It has been a challenging day, has it not, my friend?"

Friend. The word stung a bit. "No more so than usual."

"I, er..." Ororo sat down on the bench beside him, careful not to invade his space. "When I spent the day in my double's place, I saw many strange things."

"No doubt."

"Notably, I was introduced to a delightful young girl..."

Kurt glanced out of the corner of his eye. "I would have liked to have met her."

"Well." Storm touched his arm. "I shall remember her for the both of us."

Silence. Kurt folded his hands. Ororo shifted uncomfortably. Neither wanted to be the first to talk.

"I..." she started, stopped, then began again: "I remember... a part of what she felt. Perhaps... only a shadow. But I believe she loved you very much."

"I... really didn't come to know her very well," Kurt said, looking out into the dark.

"May I ask... what was she like?"

Kurt hesitated. "Very much like you, leibling."

"Kurt... my friend, I don't know..."

"Please don't, Ororo. It's forgotten."

"No. It will never be, entirely."

She stood and kissed his forehead, and then with another flutter of air, she was gone. Kurt half-smiled, wondering where to go from here, and then...

"Nice night, eh, Crawler?"

Kurt stifled a groan. *That's all I need.* He forced a straight face and said: "Does everyone know where to find me when I'm brooding?"

Wolverine stepped out of the trees, almost silent in the dark. "You ain't so hard to predict. Sorry to be th' one to tell ya."

"Shouldn't you be hiding from Rogue?" Kurt asked, with a sly smile.

"Eh. She's still helpin' Drake clean up that ski resort they made. Anyhow, I think we'll be dodgin' each other by mutual consent for a couple days. I got the flashbacks, too."

Kurt nodded. "How do you deal with it?"

"I've had fake memories runnin' 'round my head since forever. You just remember it ain't real, an' never was."

"But it could have been, Logan. It all *could* have been." He turned to his friend, encouraged to bring up a point he couldn't have with Storm: "Am I imagining that? Hasn't there always been... a connection, between me and Ororo? If I had taken a chance, said the right thing, years ago, before we got locked in as friends... it could have happened that way, couldn't it?"

"Yup," Logan said. "Prob'ly best it didn't, though."

"Why?" Kurt's own voice sounded bitter to him. "Because this Storm prefers you to me?"

Logan stiffened, fighting his temper. "What's between me an 'Ro's our own business, nobody else's. You know that."

"Ja, so I have been told."

"What d'you want me t' say, elf? That I'm sorry I got my friend back, her real self, th' way she should be? I ain't, an' neither are you."

"No, of course not," Kurt sighed. "Ororo is... irreplaceable. It is only... it really *could* have been."

Without a word, Logan turned and started walking back the way he'd come. BAMF! Kurt appeared in his path.

"What's the matter, Logan? No reply to that?"

"Not really," Logan said. "Truth is, I got no sympathy for a guy who wastes his time on could've beens an' ignores the chances he's got *now*. You're a pretty damn lucky guy, Kurt. Live with it."

Then he was gone. Kurt returned to the bench, and thought about that, and then a few minutes later, found himself back in the mansion, where he bumped into Rachel Grey on her way up the stairs.

"Rachel! I've been looking for you."

"Hey, Kurt." She only half-smiled. "Excuse me, huh? I gotta go talk Pryde out of hosting a kegger. I will be *so* glad when everybody's back to normal."

"Amen," he said. "I only... er, I was wondering if perhaps you'd like to get a cup of coffee sometime."

He couldn't tell much from Rachel's face, but her tone was light: "Wow. You're really into alternate Universe action, aren't you? The Scarlet Witch... Storm an' Kitty today... an' that last Universe, where you an' Jean-Paul..."

Kurt cleared his throat. "Ja, let us not discuss that."

"Aw. I think you'd be cute together."

"Is that a 'no,' then?"

Rachel shrugged. "I'm a little tired of being an afterthought to everybody, Kurt. If you're just hurting and looking for a last resort, look somewhere else."

"It's not that, it is..." He took her hand. "I prefer not to waste anymore chances."

Rachel frowned, looking down at the hands. "Okay. Let's go."

"Now? But what about...?"

"Eh. The joke's on her. Logan already finished the keg."

"I can always depend on that man," Kurt laughed, and they walked down the stairs together.

END

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